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The Gift of Presence

This past week, we journeyed through the transit of Gate 20 in the Human Design and Gene Key world. This energy embodies the shadow of superficiality, the gift of self-assurance, and the siddhi of presence. Today, I want to share the lessons I learned from this energy and how it manifested in my life.

Superficiality can appear as being absent or "checked out" or it could be hectic activity for the sake of staying busy. It's the tendency to get caught up in appearances and other people's opinions, stemming from our own insecurities. Another sign of superficiality is not living in the present moment, being stuck in the rat race, or operating on autopilot.

In contrast, the gift of self-assurance comes from being fully present. I enjoyed this quote:

excerpt on self-assurance from Gene Key 20

So, how did this show up in my life? Well, the Universe provided me with a gift to teach me a lesson!

On Monday, the day the transit started I was gifted with Birdy Bird aka Cookoo aka Ptery - he acquired many names in his short little life. His nest was in a coconut tree and when a branch fell, so did he and his siblings. He was the sole survivor.

Birdie Bird

I had no experience caring for a bird, especially an injured baby bird, but I did my best. I researched and learned the basics. It was fairly simple. He ate scrambled eggs and soaked dog kibble five to six times a day, drank water from a tiny seashell, and I used a Q-tip and saline solution to clean his wounds.

One of the first things I noticed was my own superficiality. Baby birds are not traditionally cute; in fact, I jokingly told a friend he looked like a testicle with bones and wings. Puppies and kittens are adorable so it is easy to fall in love, baby birds... not so much.

Despite his appearance, I felt a strong calling to love and be fully present with Birdy Bird. He communicated his needs clearly, opening his mouth wide when hungry and softly crying when he wanted to be held. He preferred napping on my heart, where he felt the most at peace.

My dog, Bodhi, is also going through a health crisis so there were many moments this week focused on caring for animal friends. They both needed medication or feeding every four hours and wanted a lot of tender loving care. It was interesting to tune into that energy. I really felt like the most important thing I could do with my life was to be fully present, connect with them spiritually, and to give them love.

Birdy Bird and I had lots of heart-to-heart conversations and pep talks this week. We were both trying our best. It seemed to be working. He was making progress every day and getting stronger.

Yesterday I woke up from a dream that Birdy Bird had died. The first thing I did was go check on him but he was alive and well. A few hours later he was able to stand on his legs and I felt so proud and happy that he was actually going to survive.

Later in the day I was chatting back and forth on messenger with my bestie and discussing the bird and our future life with my new feathered friend. I decided to record a little video for her and as I lifted the protective nest I had made, I discovered he was dead.

I felt so bad. I felt so sad. I started crying unexpectedly and just couldn't stop. It felt like the death was even worse from this conversation and all the hope I had created for the future. Despite only knowing him for six days, his loss hit me hard, triggering a deep emotional response.

I had to regain my composure to go teach a yoga class. I cried the whole way there wondering if the tears were really about the bird, or if it was the full moon, or something else beneath the surface.

I was so worried I wasn't going to be able to pull myself together as these tears felt out of my control. They felt irrational. But alas, when I pulled myself fully into the present moment to teach class I was completely fine. It reaffirmed that when we fully focus on the present moment, nothing is wrong. Life is good.

However, the tears returned when I was alone, prompting me to explore the depth of my grief. I realized that I was mourning not just Birdy Bird, but also the future I had imagined with him. I worried I had failed him, yet I knew I had done my best.

This experience also revealed how open my heart had become, a stark contrast to the walls I once built to protect myself. Living with an open heart allows me to feel deeply, and while this can lead to heartache, it also means experiencing profound love and connection.

I understand that repressed emotions can lead to illness, so I allowed myself to fully experience and release my grief. It felt like a necessary catharsis, perhaps influenced by the full moon.

This morning, I buried Birdy Bird, reflecting on the lessons he taught me. He exposed my superficiality, brought me into the present moment, and deepened my capacity for love. Caring for him, even for a brief period, was a privilege. This week reminded me that our time spent loving others is never wasted. It is the most important thing we can do. Now, I invite you to reflect:

  • Are you truly living in the present moment?

  • How can you be more present in your own life?

  • Are you allowing yourself to deeply feel your emotions?

  • Do you have any walls around your heart that need to be taken down?

Try out my free guided meditation to help you connect with your heart center.

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Listen to the Podcast with Major League Nutrition Part 1
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