My last blog post was close to a year ago. I have had a slight aversion to say the least. I titled it "Is The Journey Over" and less than two weeks later I ended up back in the hospital with Guillain Barre Syndrome again and unable to walk. My question about the journey was quickly answered as my healing had to start from scratch. My first hospitalization was in July and it took about four full months to start having good days again, this time it followed a very similar pattern. The first time fatigue was my biggest issue, this time both fatigue, numbness, and seizures have been problematic. The fatigue started to lift about four months later but I had to stop working out and start working even less too. Listening to my body and not pushing myself has been challenging - it's hard to battle your true nature.
Now that I am getting close a full year of recovery I feel like I am seeing the light. I can start making plans again and most of the time I can follow through! I still have some pretty challenging days here and there but overall I feel more like myself each day. I don't think I realized what an effect it had on my mental clarity until recently. I have been re-inspired to begin working on the projects I love and have really been able to fully focus for prolonged periods.
I continually look for the lessons in this experience. It has been mentally challenging because I tend to be very goal oriented and it is hard to have any time-sensitive goals when you don't know what your body has planned for you each day. I think I am continually learning patience, acceptance, and compassion for myself and others. People always say they are so sorry I have had to go through this but I'm not. There is no denying that it sucks but you don't grow or develop when life is easy. I still feel blessed and grateful for every aspect of my life no matter how bumpy the journey has been. The fact that I can walk again and I can still see my clients and teach classes makes my heart smile every single day. Everything we encounter in life is all about perspective and from my perspective I feel like an extremely lucky girl.