The bumpy road continues! I know I am making progress but it is very subtle. I feel a little embarrassed to admit this but I think I cry almost every night. Nothing major, just a minute or two of pure frustration being released. I have these moments every day that I forget that I am not fully capable of my normal activities and lifestyle. Overall, I have full function of my body now although the right side is significantly weaker. This weekend I lost control of my right leg for a couple hours but it seems to have fixed itself. My biggest obstacle is the fatigue and knowing what my limits are. I tried seeing three clients in a day and spent the entire next day vomiting. It was a pretty clear sign that I am not quite ready for that workload yet. I am still unable to work full time at this point but am pushing my limits every day.
I have gone off of the Neurontin and am able to stay awake all day now. I have wanted to make the best use of all this time in bed and on the couch and have been working hard creating courses and workshops. My mind is in constant thought about this to the point that I am not sleeping well anymore. It feels nice to be excited about something and still be able to pursue my passion despite this setback. I have already planned a retreat, a continuing education workshop for personal trainers and yoga instructors, and I am working on submitting a 200-hour yoga teacher training course. I spent this past week writing the ethics and philosophy section of the course and it was really helpful to be reminded of the yogic teachings. I still question what I am supposed to learn from this experience but at this point I know that it is helping me grow to be a better person and I am grateful.